The last post was more informative about the different types of handshakes people do but now I want to be more instructive on some do’s and don’ts. Consider them “guidelines” for hand shaking.
- You are not allowed to shake a person’s hand either going in or out of the bathroom. I does not matter how important they are there are just some locations where you can’t shake a man’s hand.
- You are not allowed to shake a person’s hand longer than 5 seconds. I really recommend a solid 2 second rule but will grant you a 3 second cushion if you need it. Anything over 5 seconds is deemed unacceptable and worthy of reproach.
- Guy’s only – You are not allowed to put lotion on your hand then shake my hand. I once shook a guy’s hand and it felt like they had a skin graph from a baby’s bottom or something. If I shake a man’s hand there has to be at least two to three callouses for it to be deemed acceptable.
- You are not allowed to do wrestling moves with the hand shake. This applies to the bone-crusher. It’s just a greeting not a chance for you to dominate the world.
- You are not allowed apply hand-sanitizer before you shake my hand. If you are that worried about diseases then climb in a bubble with your humidifier, clorox spray and baby-wipes and shake your own hand. If you are worried about shaking hands then do a fist-bump (also known as “a dap” or “a fist-pound”).
- You are not allowed to sit there for longer than 3 seconds while I extend my hand out to shake yours. Don’t be rude…
- Practice some balance. Not too hard but not too soft.
- Let the other person make the first move when grabbing the hand. No need to be egotistical about it…if you let them do it then you will avoid the EPIC-FAIL hand shake.
- Compliment people if they have a good hand shake. I remember older men saying to me, “That’s a nice firm hand shake Robbie!” It made me feel like a man!
- Pay attention if they are disabled. I am not being funny with this one but I once tried to shake a guy’s hand when it turns out the hand was not there. Ok…laugh…he did. He was cool about it but if I shake a person’s hand for the first time I always will look first to see what I am working with.
- Shake hands with women but do it differently. They don’t need a firm hand-shake unless they extend it to you. Women need our gentle side when it comes to shaking their hand. A side note…if I know you for a while then hand shaking is out the window and replaced by hugging.
Hope these have made you laugh and also will help you in a semi-serious way. Enjoyed this! Needed a break from serious posts.